SARK (www.planetsark.com) speaks about micromovements, and how a person who is easily discouraged can encourage themselves by making micromovements. For example, if you need to clean your closet, which has long, for years even, been neglected, one way to tackle it is just by brute force.
Another way, is by micromovements.
Day 1, open the closet door.
Day 2, pull out 5 pairs of shoes and look at them
et cetera and so on until the huge job is done.
(for more details see here)
Then I was listening to the "Radio Lab" Podcast entitled "Help!" where one writer/doctor literally threatened himself with suicide if he didn't complete the book he was trying to write in 10 days time.
And it's true! It's very strange how motivation works.
With me, I rarely have a lack of motivation, that is, until recently. Recently motivating me has been a similar exercise to trying to squeeze kielbasa through a drinking straw without the aid of a blender.
I've had passing conversations with my friend, he says it's very hard to motivate himself to straighten up the house when he sees his girlfriend on the computer relaxing after a hard day at work, and how it's frustrating for him to keep on keeping on with the work that needs to be done.
Recently, my husband has been my mirror, whenever I'm on a computer, he is. This explains my lack of a presence on social networks, only bare minimums of bills being paid, and an amount of stress and frustration that is simply unparalleled!
Paul struggles a bit with internet addiction, I'm sure he doesn't mind me talking about it. Once he gets on a hockey forum, or starts interacting online with folks whom he shares an interest, he simply loses track of time. It's not uncommon for him to come to bed at 3 or 4 in the morning if I don't force him to come to bed with me.
Some may say I am micromanaging him to ask him to come to bed, but there's more to the story. Paul has epilepsy, and the kind that's aggravated by both stress and lack of sleep, he's hasn't been seizure free for more than 6 months in almost 5 years now. This means, that I have been the sole driver in a family of four for almost 5 years running. I'm SO SICK of driving EVERYWHERE. Sometimes a gal just wants to write, or knit or do something OTHER than drive when headed to somewhere. We won't even go into the amount of speeding tickets I've gotten over time. (My running theory on that is, and still will remain that I am on the road more than most people so I therefore get more speeding tickets. Law of averages. Come on, someone provide me some statistics and back me up here?)
Anyway, back to Paul, the constant arguing of a forum environment mixed with going to bed at 4 and waking up at 730 does not bode well with me.
I don't know what's so different between myself and him, I can (when I chose to) have amazing will power and be able to just walk away from anything I am doing, no matter how engaging I find the activity. Paul, however... seems to lack this ability. Telling me "just a second" constantly, then forgetting whatever request I've made, and still sitting at his computer 3 hours later.
Previous to the past month, I had made a conscious effort to not go on the computer when I was home. When I wasn't on the computer, Paul wasn't. When he did go on the computer, it was for a few minutes at a time to do normal computer tasks such as email and apply for jobs, (as the man is, although very talented still unemployed!)
But I went nearly crazy, I felt I never had any downtime. I felt like I was running from place to place. I got behind on bills, got behind on emails, felt like a failure. The stress seemed to contribute to my catching a cold that the kids caught, so not only did I have to stay home from work to take care of them and get them to doctors visits, but I fell ill.
So, I gave in, I said "This one day, I will take care of everything I've neglected" and now, I'm on the computer at least a half an hour every day outside of work.
It's just strange how will power and the muse work.
I haven't felt inspired to write for a while now. I've just been thinking, "My life is too boring" or "I'll write more when I have time." I have time every night, but I don't want to give Paul permission to slack off all night.
I have another friend who is trying to get a blog, Any blog, off the ground. He's worked on and off on the same basic idea for a while now. He's a master procrastinator. Still, sometimes he'll sit and produce six months worth of work in 1 evening. It just... baffles me how his muse will be hyper productive then abandon him for six months. He has the drive and desire, but just... it fizzles out.
Yes, that's it. His muse is GLaDOS.
Poor bloke, if it were me, I would probably get a more violent muse, like the stick figure above. This one will just passive aggressive him to death. He'll never get cake!
 |
| There is a muse in this picture. |
My muse is more like a ninja. It ATTACKS, out of nowhere.
It'll lay in wait for months, or years, then suddenly... |
| ZOMG cute IN YOUR FACE,go ahead and TRY to resist writing me! |
This, adorable little ninja is of course an exaggeration. Nothing THAT cute has ever come from my writing.
Hmm, the next book maybe? The littlest ninja. Cute, but can kill you in 19 ways in 2 minutes.
That's all for me. Hope you find your Muse!
