We are in all 50 states, posting and going on and on about our huge electoral boners. Everyone is so proud of what they believe that they just have to show it.
In that, we are all saying "My political dick is bigger than yours." and it's every day. And we are collectively sick of what the other side has to say about their dick, yet we can't stop talking about our own.
Now, I'm a liberal, I'm a proud ass liberal. If I had a strap-on, it'd be bright fucking blue. I have reasons for what I believe and what I don't. This doesn't mean that I don't want to hear what you have to say but, I don't want to hear what you have to say if it doesn't match with my universe of discourse. This is how I feel about it, outwardly. I feel like it's my once in a 4 year lifetime, that I can speak my mind and have it be read and listened to. I feel IMPORTANT. And also, just as though it were a dick and I were a man, I don't want people insulting "the penis". It's mine. I grew it from scratch.
But inwardly, there's another story going on. One that I have a hard time remembering. One that everyone has a hard time remembering and I think deserves to be talked about, and needs to be shared.
Even if you have a dick right now, you shouldn't BE a dick about it.
Here's what I mean: It's easy to forget that the other side of the fence, it's easy to dismiss them and say they are stupid and say they don't know what they are saying, and x, y, and z reasons for what they believe and why it is wrong. It's deceptively easy to dismiss others and their beliefs, no matter how fundamental they are to their personality, it's easy to dismiss others. It's easy to make others into monsters that they aren't, it in fact, is incredibly easy to make enemies out of friends and relatives you've had for years, but let's come to reality a second.
Everyone take a deep breath. DO it. I'll wait. Seriously, now. Repeat after me. Make these words your mantra for the next few weeks:
Even if someone doesn't believe what I do, they are not a demon. They are not the Anti-Christ. They are human beings, they make mistakes, they have good days, they have bad days. They have certain life circumstances that have lead them to their beliefs.
No matter who is elected, what bills pass and fail, your life will not really fundamentally change. There is no change. There never will be any change that results from a political convention. The body politic is merely a fancy popularity contest.
Once the election season is over, we will all go back to ignoring what happens in Washington DC, in Lansing, and around the nation. This is merely the way of things. You'll promise yourself that you'll care, but you won't, unless someone makes a statement to which you do not agree.
Let us remove from our vocabulary, "Wake up,
There are those who are brain washed to believe certain things from birth. It's not that they don't know any better, but the unknown is frightening. Opening one's mind can be a very scary experience, listening to the other side can also be frightening, especially if you are not secure in your beliefs, or if something they stand for would cause you and yours discomfort. It's like, if you are secure in your sexuality, you can make jokes with your friends, pretending you are gay or straight or whatever. It usually is a good laugh for everyone. But everyone has an opinion and it is important to hear what they have to say.
Having said that, having an opinion does not give you the right to go onto someone's facebook and piss on their parade. You can not agree with them, and that's ok, but going and conducting a comment war is wrong. Let's think back to Kindergarten here. What's the first rule you learn? If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. Even when you do something wrong in Kindergarten you don't hear the teacher yelling "You're stupid and your argument doesn't make sense." They just ask you politely, "now are you really sure you mean it that way?" And if you REALLY cannot stand someone's political affiliation? Block their political posts, but don't sit and argue with them, remember you can change your clothes, but you can't change your penis unless you want to. That's your own business!
Let's put it another, VERY easy to understand way, especially if you are a real life penis bearer.
Man A gets a scrotum piercing.
Man B does not.
Man A talks to Man B at length, (forgive the pun) about said scrotum ring, Man B does not want one because he is afraid of getting piercings. No amount of talking or convincing is going to make Man B agree with Man A. Man B is always going to think that Man A is either very stupid or very brave to do such a thing to himself.
See what I mean?
And even saying that, Man A understands, (hopefully) that scrotum piercings are not for everybody. He can't force Man B to agree with him, hopefully if he's any sort of good friend, he'll let the subject drop.. Moreover, scrotum piercings do NOT look good on everyone. But you wouldn't walk up to the guy at the urinal and say "Hey, your piercing looks like shit!" or if you did, you'd be very rude and most likely, you'd also be beaten furiously and within an inch of your life.
Your political views are just like a penis, not everybody wants to hear about them, in fact, there are only a few people in your life that actually give a shit about your political beliefs, or if and how your penis works. If you must share how you feel, do so in such a way that it is easy for others to block, post to your own facebook walls, or to the wall of someone you know for a fact will agree. If you see something on someone else's wall, just IGNORE it if you do not agree. Their opinion isn't going to change!!!! Then, for goodness sake VOTE IN NOVEMBER! Doesn't matter who you are voting for, we will all still be in the same shitty leaking boat, and the guy you pissed off in October, may be the one bailing out the boat in January. Most likely, however, they'll just be throwing more water into the sinking ship.
May we all live by Wil Wheaton's now famous words, "life is hard, don't be a dick."
