Day zero

“I don't wish to be everything to everyone, but I would like to be something to someone.” - Javan
"I've got everything I want, but still I want more." Ani Difranco

2/22/11 was one day for the record books.  Although I cannot say exactly what happened for the sanctity of others, I was pretty bad ass that day.

I saved someone's life.  Not kidding.  I assure you the circumstances were interesting, the kind of stuff that good suspense is made of; sudden logging out of phones at work, driving 90 on the highway with no seat belt, hitting a patch of ice, nearly skidding out, going to a seemingly empty house, police being called...

It was exciting; the kind of excitement I hope to never repeat.

Today was day zero.  Today, was the year anniversary of those events which made a friendship more concrete, created challenges and the day that everything wasn't quite the same, a really sad time that ended up much happier than it could of.

Although I felt helpless, I also did enough.  It all started out with an email of a concerned coworker.
"I don't know what's up, our friend just isn't acting right." he said
He sent me the letter.  He was right.  It was textbook.
I didn't even think.  I immediately logged out of my phone, I told my boss "I'll be back later, I have to take care of this now." and I didn't look back.  I didn't even tell my co-worker that I was leaving.  I just asked where he thought our friend might be.  Then I drove 90 on M14...  but luckily I didn't completely spin out, it could have been so bad; I could feel the top half of the car swaying.
I prayed.
"God, if you exist, please." I said "Spare my friend.  It's a simple request, my friend has so much to do with their life.  I don't ask for much, but please, just spare my friend.  I will not doubt your existence again, and will forever be your faithful servant.  Now, we'll discuss later which one of you buggers is up there pulling the strings, but for now, please leave logistics out of this and save my friend."

I drove to their house, they had not parked the car where they normally did.  I thought they were not home.
So I went to a couple of the places my co worker mentioned...  No car.  No car=no friend.
I arrived home about a half an hour after leaving work.
I called the police, they asked why I was looking.
I simply quoted the message given to me by my coworker.
They went looking.
I went looking again, then called the police after the second time through the gardens.
They found my friend.  They would only tell me that they were in the ER, and they were safe.
That was at my friend's request.  I went looking around the ER.  I did not see my friend, I walked back out.

They WERE at home.
Had I gone in, I would have found my friend.
I don't handle the sight of blood very well.
My friend had nearly bled out.
I did the right thing.

Today was Day Zero.

I bought my friend flowers and taco bell.  We sat in my living room talking about the day's events.
Every day I thank the universe for giving them another shot at living.  I'd be lost without them.


Think you can't handle it?  Think you might remove yourself from the equation?  Know someone who's thinking about it, talking about being "brave"?  Be a REAL hero, PREVENT ANOTHER DAY ZERO.  Living life with scars it still living.  Remove the stigma.  Speak out and save the day.

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
 1-800-273-TALK