The winds of change and the wicked waltz

I had almost forgotten what a seizure meant to my family.
I started to take for granted that I didn't have to do everything.
Today wasn't a bad day, really... For me, anyway, not until I got home.
I heard from a dear friend whom I had not heard anything from in ages, and the day didn't really drag on.  I couldn't find my groove as far as the telephone, but you know, some days are like that.
Some days are better than others.
It was when my half exhausted husband pulls up in our SUV I know I've got problems.

First, he really shouldn't be driving, we all get that.  I feel guilty that he does.  Never with the children in the car, always through town,  but still, it does not escape me that he should not be driving.  He slept well past noon today and never managed to do any of the tasks that which he was assigned, and for which the car was left home today.

I honestly feel like I'm drowning, back in the same spot.  Things were really improving, he was doing well, the children were thriving, and now, back to square one.
I'll be doing this for the rest of my days.
I'm going to have to learn to survive on less sleep, I'm going to have to meditate more so that I can manage on less sleep to not chew someone's head off.  I'm going to have to admit to myself that I am working 3 very full time jobs, one of which I am paid for monetarily, and the rest in Karma; knowing I'm doing the right thing.

The money is again super tight.  We get a lot of help from relatives.  He doesn't have the energy to cook much of the time anymore, so a lot of fast food is ordered, and that of course is more money...

It was so nice to get out the other night and see people who care about me.  I don't know when I'm going to get a chance to go out again.  I want to go out and see people that care about me and knew me before this shit started.  But I want to have my cake and eat it too; I want all my stuff to get done at home.
I feel like my energy level is incredibly low, I feel weak and more sickly than a person of my age should feel.

I have extra help right now, which is awesome.  I'd be lost without my friend who's been staying with me.  It's just nice to have another sane-ish voice around.

Anyway, I'm pretty exhausted, the baby is awake, I think I'm going to take him to my bed and turn in.