A restful sleep

I am going to state again for the record that this is meant to be a comical retelling of the night's events, and should in no way be interpreted as a gripe session. I am grateful for the help I receive from friends and family, and I'm just happy we are all together. Also the links you see throughout this article are meant to enhance the comedic effect, so CLICK! With those disclaimers, lets go forward.

So last night, after all the kids went to bed I decided to put in one of my hypnotism CDs. This particular one was for building confidence and boosting the quality of my sleep.
An old high school pal, Dan Gordon, made it for me. He runs a business down in Florida, Hypnosis Works. And you know what, it really helped me. I felt immediately more confident, and exhausted I went to bed my pillow feeling like a heavenly cloud under my weary head.
Why I last night would be any different than any other night, I do not know. But I was hopeful for the future, and for my attempt into Dreamy-ville.

And so, when 4am came and Tom, (who is days from a year old) did his usual nightly sabbatical of waking up at 4am and not calming until he is brought to Mommy's room. I nudged my sleeping husband to get him, because after all, I'm still trying to make it back to Dreamy-ville before Captain McDreamy sails away to Caribbean Cruise-ville. But, as usual the sleeping husband did not rouse. And so I trudged sleepily to the crib where my youngest son was convinced he was being held captive.

And usually, that's the end of the ritual, I grab him up, put him in bed with me until he falls asleep again, then he is magically transported back to his crib. (ok, not so magically, I get back up and take him there.) Sometimes though, I beat him back to sleep, and on those nights he stays with me and Paul, (aforementioned sleeping husband.)

I'm going to stop the story here for a second to explain something.

My husband has epilepsy, has had it all of his life. The past 3 years he's been something of a wonder, every now and again he'll get it in his head, somewhere, FAR beyond the reaches of his consciousness decides "ok, DISCO-TIME!"
Disco-time can be any time to Paul's Subconscious. Sleep and sex are the two prime times. But the disco-tech inside of Paul's subconscious isn't that picky. Sometimes choosing work AND occasionally the grocery store as prime disco-time.
This has earned the poor guy the nickname "Twitch" from me.
The important things to know from these past 4 years are this: He's in remission of sorts now, we are going on the 6 month mark on June 22nd. But it was found while he was in the hospital last August that although he was in a sleeping position, he was NEVER sleeping. He was having hardly detectable seizures every couple of minutes.
Well, he's been making up for lost sleep recently, (the past year). When he isn't on the computer or visiting family, he's asleep. Sometimes sleeping during the aforementioned activities. (wow, that's aforementioned mentioned twice in a blog post? Someone call the blog police!! HA, that's 3 times!! Take that, Coppers!) Ok, so basically what I'm trying to say is that it's not his fault he's practically Narcoleptic.

Anyway, back to last night.

After grabbing Tom, I drifted easily back off to sleep. Then Dan woke up, Dan is 4, great about knowing when to use the potty, and in general my more "sensitive" child. He calls out, at the top of his lungs of course, "MOMMY!"
"Yes Dan," I say, in my sleep.
"TURN THE CLASSICAL MUSIC CHANNEL OFF OF MY TV! I want NICK JR NOW!"
I look at the clock, 4:15 am.
I comply, stumbling sleepily back to the boys room. Change the channel, go back to my warm bed.
I start to drift off again thinking, "Ah yes, now I'm going to sleep and maybe Paul will have heard all of this and handle the rest of the evening."
LOL
Dan again 4:30,
"I NEED THE POTTY! NOW!"
Usually this is not something he announces.
So I figure it had to have been some sort of emergency.
I nudge my husband. Say "Dan needs help in the potty," I say
He rolls halfway out of bed, then eventually gets himself the rest of the way out, then stomps his way to the bathroom. I hear the flushing, Dan's little footsteps back to his room, then I allow myself to drift back to sleep.
"MAKE THE SCARY NOISE GO AWAY MOMMY!!!" Says Dan, again, 15 minutes later.
Paul's asleep again, beyond the point of waking. There is no scary noise that I can detect.
I stumble into Dan's room. I stand there for a few minutes watching him watch TV. He's not sleeping. He's not even trying. Big brown eyes staring at the screen. No scary noises, but I notice Evan is attempting to sleep but rolling around a bit.

Evan is my 6 year old. He's rough at tumble and doesn't care if he pees his pants, I think he takes glee in my doing his laundry. (It should be noted here that we do not have our own laundry machines. So laundry is a real ordeal around these parts.)
He's all wrapped up in the comforter, and I detect a slight wet spot.
SO I wake him up.
"But I'm too lazy to get up and use the potty."
"You're using the potty, get up." I say
I pull him out of bed, pull off his pants, meanwhile he's screaming like someone is trying to murder him. Finally I get him to shove off to the potty.
He goes and I swear he spent 5 minutes peeing.
I remove the stinky pee blanket, put new blankets on the children unceremoniously, then collapse in a heap on my bed.

8 am comes around. Grant you, I was up until 130 listening to the hypnosis CD, and Paul waited up for me, so I know I didn't get to bed when I was supposed to. So I did bring this all onto myself. I ask my poor husband to get up with the baby who is now next to his ear screaming his displeasure at being awake. Diaper as wet as it can be before it leaks. Hungry. Paul can't seem to wake up. I explain to him, trying VERY hard to not lose my temper, that I was up with children for half of the night so the very least I feel he can do is diaper and feed the wee one.
He complies, grouchily.
Now he's another peculiar thing he does. I set him on a task, such as feed and diaper the baby. He will do that task, ONLY that task, then come back to bed. Whereas if I am given a task such as "Feed the baby" or "take the dog for a walk" I will do that task, and any other related task. Such as "If Dan is awake, feed and drink Dan, if Evan is awake, make sure he has clean clothes on then feed and drink him." I think that the latter is how most folks do things.
Not Paul.
If the task is not on his list, to heck with the task, back to bed. Meanwhile I've got boys in the living room, yes ALREADY, playing video games.
9 AM comes along. Tom is screaming from his prison cell, the boys are arguing over who's turn it is with the Xbox 360 Paul is snoring next to me.
I know it's my turn.

I get up, start writing. Get interrupted 10 times. Get up, make the sleeping Paul some breakfast which I deliver to him IN BED because I still somehow believe in Karma and that SOMEDAY I will get all of the breakfasts in bed that I have given out. Breakfast is done by 1045am, I bring it to Paul saying "Here's bribery, please wake up and help me with these kids so that I can write this blog entry I'm working on."
And Dan G's words resonate with me today "If you are listening to this at bed time, when I snap my fingers you will drift off to a restful sleep."